


Old Folks Say

by Wawa_Girl



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, References to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Team as Family, Yondu's A+ Parenting, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 22:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wawa_Girl/pseuds/Wawa_Girl
Summary: And now I know how Yondu felt.





	Old Folks Say

The Ravager Captain knew his aggravation levels were soon to skyrocket when he could barely wedge the Terran's bedroom door open.

"Quill, we're--holy...what have you done to my _ship?!_ " Yondu shouted at first sight of the food wrappers, broken gadgets, and enormous clothing piles strewn across the floor and all possible areas.

"You mean _my_ room?" countered the fifteen-year-old Peter Quill, making no move to lower the hologram from which he was studying various female alien anatomy, or turn down the punk rock song blaring at the highest volume from the headphones around his neck.

Yondu frowned. "Don't get testy, boy." The words "cherry bomb!" screeched on repeatedly, Yondu convinced it could be heard five planets away, and Peter was making an equally obnoxious _'ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch'_ sound with his teeth along to the beat. "How many times have I told you to keep this space clear in case of an evacuation?" It was common knowledge that the boy had become quite slovenly, and _lazy_ , as of recent, but this was out of control.

"...'how many times have I told you?'..." the teenager mimicked in a mousy voice, rolling his eyes and flicking his finger to view the next provocative image. "Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that, Captain Buzzkill," he said sarcastically without moving his head, pressing a button to replay the song.

The Terran's attitude, among other things, had also become far less tolerable.

"If you don't cut that type of talk, boy, I'll--"

"Chow on my internal organs for dessert? Uh-huh, okay," Peter said distracted, usually not one to risk challenging threats of being eaten, but was feeling exceptionally annoyed with the unceremonious breach of privacy.

He was at least eighty percent sure it wouldn't lead to any regrettable consequences.

Yondu had considered the human boy's gradual aging, from his physical growth to his undeniable personality shift, to be a huge relief, and entirely in everyone's favor. The crew may have lost their tiny stealing slave, but no longer did they need to worry about babysitting a helpless child, double-checking if they left the controls unattended, or shutting him up after a fearful encounter. He could be semi-trusted with more responsibilities, had picked up enough general survival skills to handle himself, and didn't mind being left alone for days on end without making a peep, aside of the non-stop music.

He no longer cried about wanting to go "home" and seemed to accept _The Eclector_ and the Ravagers as part of his normal life.

And while a small part of Yondu - a part buried deep, _deep_ down and locked up tight with an incinerated key - sometimes missed the much younger kid they snatched from Terra, the older, more courageous and confident adolescent he was growing into was a positive change.

But _when_ , the blue captain couldn't help asking himself, oh _when_ , did he become such an insufferable, moody little _shit_?

"Do I even need to mention how much it reeks in here?" Yondu asked, now intent on scolding the kid for anything after receiving such lip.

"So?" Peter replied, munching on candy that had likely expired since he lifted it at a nearby shop. "It matches the rest of the place," he said while standing to cross the room for more candies, turning off the hologram, maneuvering his way through the mess with disturbing ease. "And, ya know, maybe if you weren't so _lame and boring_ , we would get along better," he felt bold enough to state, finally turning around to face his leader.

"Lame and boring?" Yondu challenged, aware that such infantile, meaningless insults from a _kid_ should not get him so riled. "Was it lame and boring when I sewed up the back of yer head when you were dumb enough to fall onto a blade? Was it boring and lame when I taught ya how to shoot when you couldn't hit what was right in front of yer nose?" he asked and kicked a t-shirt that was covered in rolled up socks.

"It's _lame_ when every other sentence is always, 'Don't crash into that moon crater, Quill!' or 'Don't flirt with _that_ girl, Quill, her government could lock us all away!' or 'A stranger insulting your momma is not a good enough reason to start an intergalactic war, Quill!' Fuckin' nag, nag, nag, man..."

"Ya know what's 'lame and boring' boy?" he said, ignoring the ridiculous complaints. "Listening to the same dozen songs for seven years! What's borin' and lame is lookin' through pictures of ladies rather than meetin' them. But who's doin' those things?"

Peter glared at the man and scooped up more candy than fit in his palm, letting the rest scatter to the floor as he took a swig of a liquid most likely fermented. He made his way back to his bed and instantly replayed _The Runaways'_ signature hit. "I can do what I want in here, _loudmouth_ ," he answered, pretending to dust off that jacket he thought was so special, his hair in that atrocious style falling over his left eye. "Did _you_ want something?"

The captain closed his eyes and counted until he could see a color besides red. It was moments like these he was reminded that the Terran was often _far_ more trouble than he was worth, and how _easy_ it would be to abandon him on a far off planet to fend for himself, appropriately punishing such disrespect, never having to hear that whiny voice ever again.

His mind always thought better of it, though. He still held an unexplainable fondness for the boy's presence, and these habits would surely die out.

You don't wreck a ship over a few loose screws. Leave the ungrateful meat sack alone and wait for this phase to run its course.

"Take a shower. I'll send ya our coordinates," he said, devoid of anger or threat, while exiting the bedroom.

"Whatever!" Peter's voice shouted back, disinterested.

_Cool down and let 'im be. He's always been a brat. No real excuse for givin' up on him--_

"And if you could try _knocking_ next time, Smurf King, that would be great!" the teen's voice echoed from behind the door.

_Nevermind. That settles it._

The captain was prepared to permanently remove the door from its hinges when his actions were caught by a passing Kraglin. "Is there a prob--?!" the other man was cut off from asking when Yondu grabbed his ear.

"Let everyone know that at our next heist stop we're ditchin' _Quill_ for _good_ ," he hissed before letting go and storming off without another word.

"Umm..." Kraglin began, rubbing his ear somewhat dumbfounded. "Pardon my stating so, Capt'n," he said meekly while following behind, "...but you've said that before _every_ landing."

**********

"I am GROOT!"

"Yeah? Well, back atcha!"

Gamora halted her stride through the hallway when she saw Peter slam the teenage tree's bedroom door shut.

"What's the matter?" she asked, placing a steady hand on his shoulder, helping him regain his composure as he turned around to face the other adult.

"What _isn't_ the matter with him anymore?" he responded, lightly kicking the door he had used to exit.

Before she could ask for an elaboration, the leader quickly grabbed Rocket's attention. "You!" he pointed directly at the passing rodent, who paused and quirked an ear in confusion. "Next time we land this thing, we are kicking _that one_ outta here," he stated like it was an order, jerking his thumb toward the closed door.

His annoyance must have been expressed louder than he realized, as this soon drew the attention of the rest of _The Quadrant_ 's occupants, all of whom could only stare as Peter thew his hands up and marched off. Gamora followed after him as he muttered, "He used to be so _cute_. Jeez!" and her voice could be heard telling him, _'Calm down and start from the beginning.'_

Mantis' previous smile changed into a thin line of worry, Drax squinting his eyes at the scene, and Kraglin merely ducked his head to hide a knowing smirk.

"Don't worry," Rocket said to the concerned empath with a relaxed wave of his paw. "He's been sayin' that, like, almost every day."

**Author's Note:**

> Like father, like son, amiright?
> 
> Another unexpected dribble. This actually came from my own comment on the video and gifset of that end credits stinger with Teenage Groot. I said "I love the line 'And now I know how Yondu felt' because it implies that Peter was a really shitty teenager, and Yondu was always THIS close to abandoning him in the middle of space, and it's hilarious." Before I knew it, I had to write it. So here ya go. :P
> 
> I love you to death, Peter, but there's no denying you must have been a pain in the _ass_ at that age, Star-Lord. ;)
> 
> Hope you found it funny and in-character, comments thrill me, you're all awesome for reading, you know the drill. :D
> 
> My _Guardians of the Galaxy_ tumblr is [here](https://marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches.tumblr.com/)!


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